The Correct Mindset
Frames are EXTREMELY important, especially for Asians. The typical Asian male frame of mind has been poisoned by
● The man leads, but the woman decides the speed. In other words, you show your interest, be sexual, but she decides how fast
you can go.
● Your attractiveness to a woman is based on how non-needy you behave, which is determined by how honest you are to yourself
and to others. When you act honestly, without caring too much what others think about you then you are very non-needy and that is
● Following the previous point is that the partner who needs the other the least has control. This applies to everything. Employer-
employee, teacher-student, husband-wife, bf-gf, siblings, mother-daughter, etc.
● Asian men, you don't have to marry the girls that you date. That's why it's called dating. Stop being so picky and just date girls
without any high pressure expectations for the future. When you're so picky, you'll only meet a few women "worthy" (lol) of dating in
your life. Also, when you date, you automatically become MORE attractive to other women.
● Women don't believe what you say. They believe your presence/essence as in body language, eye contact, tonality, way of
speaking, confidence, and proximity. When your essence shows "I'm a man", then you can get the girl. A wuss saying all the right
things won't work and a man saying simple, almost too simple things, will work.
● Be unattached to the outcome to a degree. This is related to the above point about non-neediness (you see how the right mindset
affects many points?) Don't tie your happiness to her or other single event outcomes. It wreaks of desperation and immaturity
because anyone with experience realizes there's much more to life than one setback. You SHOULD care about someone you're
with, but you shouldn't lose sleep over a stranger. When you live longer and experience more, you'll realize many things that you
thought were life and death aren't so important. A girlfriend breaking up with you feels devastating until you meet someone else.
There's always someone else. We are all replaceable. Do not be sad. Embrace reality. Denying reality creates much more suffering.
● Ethnicity won't stop you from dating who you want as long as you're dateable. Being Asian won't stop you from getting dates, but
being ugly, weird, very short, etc will make it hard
Read the last part of the following link especially.
Here is another example
It was clearly proven here that looks will easily overcome race and so will things like style and such.
● Having women in your life is the byproduct/side effect of becoming a great guy. When you're a great guy, you'll find that you don't
● Assume familiarity. Try to talk to them like an old friend. Acting very formal around her makes her want to act formal and creates
an awkward barrier between you two.
● There is no perfect woman outside of our silly imaginations. Figure out what your non-negotiables are and fully accept a woman
who meets those criteria. For example, if I find a girl who can make me horny, intelligent, humane, and hates religion then I'm good. I
don't care what her cup size, hair color, eye color, height, etc.
● Speaking of fully accepting a woman. That's how you melt their hearts. Make them feel that their entirety is irresistible to you.
Avoid pointing out her flaws. When you like someone you won't even see their flaws. I saw a girl who had a scar across her face and
I didn't even notice until she pointed them out.
● Her imagination is the most useful tool in your game. Every thing you do has her imagination at its foundation. One of the
biggest flaws of "nice guys" is they divulge everything about themselves right away. It's like a mystery novel whose first paragraph
tells you who the killer is. Why even bother reading? There is zero mystery. Less is truly more with women - and many other areas of
life. She wants to figure you out. That's part of her fantasy. It's the easiest thing in the world. Just talk less about yourself. You can
still share but not every single detail.
Here's my personal anecdote. I'm too lazy to explain myself to people and women find me mysterious and say they can't figure me
out. Isn't that ironic? My laziness is rewarded with their interest.
Stated differently, familiarity kills attraction. However, in long term relationships, familiarity is replaced with trust and that can keep
perfectly fine to show your interest, just be respectful and pull back if she shows discomfort. Girls may say "no" but may mean "Not
now". It depends on her tone and seriousness. Sometimes she just needs more time. However, if she tells you "NO!", "I want to be
friends", or some other clear-cut version then it's a 100% no and you must respect her wishes.
● You build your own world - financial, mental, physical, spiritual - and choose a girl and LET HER INTO that good life. No girl
completes you. Your life should be bigger than success with females.
● The way to vibe/connect with her is just to talk, share stories, make jokes, and just have a good time. Simply enjoy each other's
company like you would with a friend. Add the hint of sexuality so she knows you're interested. Never have a hidden agenda. You
can have an agenda as long as it's not hidden/sneaky. Don't pretend to want to be friends when you want a relationship. See the
● NO ONE EVER GETS THE GIRL 100% of the time. The pua that brag about getting women often get 5-6's and their students
get 7's at best They're not taking home lingerie models so don't worry.
● Meeting women is a numbers game. You're not attracted to all girls and not all girls are attracted to you. Rejection is rarely
personal (see bottom of this page). You are not a loser. She's just not the girl for you. You're not the guy for her. When you're not
interested in a girl, it's the same thing. You don't know her.You only know you're not attracted. That's it.
● Don't impress is the best way to impress. This is the best way to impress a woman because every other guy is trying so hard to be
an impostor. This is one major sign of maturity. Work your strengths into your conversations or activities so they "naturally" just came
● Gracefully accept compliments/gifts to use the consistency principle. She will rationalize you were worth it. However, don't stay
there. Move onto other topics otherwise you'll look like a gloating fool.
● Allow her to earn your appreciation/compliments for her non-sexual qualities. For example, after talking, you learn that she
volunteers to help disabled kids then you can tell her how you love that she has surprisingly big heart and can see beyond her self.
● Show that you understand her. Women lead a mixed life. One the one hand they're pursued and don't have to face rejection as
much as men. However, women are also objectified and disrespected by many men. They feel the need to dumb themselves down
lose at a sport to protect male egos. When you understand their struggles and can acknowledge them, it makes you special to them.
● When you talk or meet again, you need to reestablish the attraction. You cannot fall back on old interactions. It's a constant
seduction even after marriage.
Your Approach Anxiety is Stupid. She's a Human - not a Goddess
It's easy to put women on a pedestal until you look at reality. When you enter a relationship with her...
● Lose half of your assets if you split from a long term relationship
● Lose some of your freedom
● Commit lots of your resources to her and your child
● When you're married, you'll be hanging out with other married couples. I'm not the most exciting guy in the world and yet my
married friend lamented that the good times when we hung out are gone. I can only imagine what misery he suffers.
● As you age, you will grow sexier with the lines of character on your face while she loses her attractiveness
● Kill winged insects with her fart after a spicy meal
● Release massive brown logs out of her butt
● Occasionally have bad breath
● Age into a old prune
● Bitch about nothing
● Bitch about something like the toilet seat position
● Try to change you
● Try to control you
● Go through monthly mood swings
● Waste your money on nonsense
● Potentially lie about birth control to make you marry her
● Get in the way of your hobbies
Yes, I was totally biased with these points. I just want you to see that she is not some miracle so stop getting so worried about what
she thinks. It doesn't matter all that much.
When I approach a girl, I take a time machine where I see her future self - aged, frail, sexless, unattractive, nagging, and still releasing
foot long brown logs. If I had any approach anxiety, it's replaced with a mixture of disgust and laughter.
Real Asian Man AKA Alpha male
There is some overlap with the frames section. You must read both these sections. They're both extremely important for you.
● Understand that pain, suffering, humiliation are not bad. It's what you do with them. When your enemies try to oppress you, fight
back. Your enemies gave you the gift of anger. Channel that anger into personal growth.
● Have a vision for yourself and, if you dare, a vision for the impact you wish to leave, and make it your mission in life. Very few
things are more attractive than a man who fearlessly takes risks to achieve his dreams - especially against big obstacles. Poems,
books, and legends are based on such men.
● Have a life. Be busy. Enjoy life. Doing this cures other symptoms of weakness like being upset over cancellations, appearing too
available, or being upset over small things. These all speak of a guy with no life. If you're busy and making stuff happen, you wouldn't
give a second thought to a minor annoyance because you don't even have the time! Build a life so that you "...have better things to
do" all the time.
● You must always do things because you wanted to. Not because you think it'll get you something. The transactional mindset is the
"nice guy" way, the wrong way. Do things unconditionally. Do not attach conditions to your actions. See this guide on mental frames
● Appearing confident is not about expressing confidence. It is confidently expressing everything. Don't tell the world "Look at me!
I'm confident!" .Great singers don't tell people "I'm great singer". The quality of their singing demonstrates their confidence. In other
words, you need to gain competence and the confidence will follow. Some say "fake it till you make it". I never tried it so maybe that
works, but I prefer to have substance first. When you're incompetent, you'll feel negative and insecure. When you're competent, you
will feel positive and gain confidence. Confidence comes from mostly skill and all skills can be learned. If you have problems that are
not related to skills then that is a much harder problem to solve - eg disfigured, major sickness, etc. See the next point.
● Never make excuses. No matter how bad you think you have it, there are plenty (several BILLION) of people that would love
to trade places with you. Be happy with what you have and get working. In fact, be really happy. The fact that you're reading this on
a computer is an incredible privilege. Many people don't even know what that is.
● Accept the things that you cannot change and change the things that you can. This means things like don't beat yourself up over
your height but build a fit body.
● Try having fun where-ever you are and whatever you do. Find the lighter side/humor and positives in all situations. There always is
something good/funny. I'm not saying you have to pretend life is all fun and happy - it's not. But people would rather look at the
pleasant sides of life. I treat it like a game/puzzle where I have to find at least one positive thing about any situation.
● You don't have to be in a good mood all the time. The key is that you have a range of authentic moods. Try to avoid being
too much though. Everyone goes through ups and downs. People will respect you more if you can express that range without
dwelling on the negatives - eg you just acknowledge the negatives but you see, enjoy, and work towards the positives.
● Failure is just another step towards success. Sales people expect to get rejected dozens of times before making a sale. They know
this from experience. Your fear of rejection will subside when you gain experience.
● Preparation is 9/10th of success. Successful people make it LOOK easy, but they've normally done lots of work to succeed
Rejection: It happens to EVERYONE. No Big deal
Every guy has been rejected. Even the celibate monk has been rejected by Nirvana most of his life.
The reality is that something around like 90% of your approaches will result in rejection. The best guys with top genetics who can
recite this knowledge backwards STILL get rejected. That's the nature of dating. The sooner you accept this reality the better.
Stop thinking I need to become James Bond and get whoever I want. That doesn't happen in real life. No one gets the girl all the
Men generally think rejection = I'm worthless. That is so wrong. Her rejecting your "interest in her" is not equal to rejecting "you as a
human being". She knows NOTHING about you. Even most of your friends and family only know pieces of you. She knows nothing
about the good you have done in life, your intellect, your loyalty, your courage, certainly not your penis size, etc. The only exception
would be if you keep getting rejected by really horrific rejections like her running away through a busy intersection. In that case, it's
probably something that's obviously wrong like terrible conversationalist, nervous wreck, dressing super weird, going after super
models when you''re very average in all departments, super ugly (I'm sorry, but similarly men won't date obese women so it's a part
of life), etc.
She can also reject you for so many reasons outside of your control. She could be a lesbian, could have just been heartbroken, could
be in a relationship, her dog may have died, be a prostitute who feels unworthy of love, had a bad experience with someone who
looked like you, was in a hurry, be of a ethnicity that never dates outside their own kind (many middle eastern), etc.
Bottom line is rejection is nearly always a rejection of your interest and not of you as a human being unless you're a creepy white guy.
My mindset for rejection is to laugh it off. I use it to experiment with jokes. Whatever she does - yell, call me names, give me a
middle finger, I applaud her effort and give her rating. I may even award her style points and give her tips on how to make her next
rejection more epic. That's the power of your frame. Sure, she isn't interested but I flipped it around and turned it into a game, where
I'm the judge. I don't do this to impress her. I do this because it's hilarious to me. Remember, be self amusing. Don't take things
personally. There's even a chance this could turn the interaction around.
A Word About Being "Nice"
"Nice" people aren't really nice. They're fake. It's impossible to be nice to everyone. You can be civil, but nice requires acting. I hate
plenty of people I meet and I don't pretend to like them either. I'm just civil. Nice people are afraid of being themselves in case it
offends people so they pretend to be nice to get others to like them. They tend to be manipulative. They use "nice" as a currency to
get what they want". They're calculating. Many nice people are living a lie by hiding themselves (they're basically dead inside or
seething is a quiet rage), which is the exactly opposite of a real man. The most dangerous part of nice guys is the resentment, anger,
jealousy, and repressed feelings that builds up like a pressure cooker and one day they explode. This is why nice guys can't get girls
because women know (I don't know how) that these men are just faking it to get something. The other reason is that by always being
safe, they're boring as hell because everything they do is "safe" and almost clinical.
A real man speaks their mind and they don't care if people get offended too much. They also won't blow up because they constantly
release their "steam" in the form of being honest with themselves and others. When a real man does nice things, it's because he wants
to. He doesn't expect or want anything in return. The giving comes from within. It's the opposite of the "nice guy" transaction mindset.